Thoughts on the Life of a Nomolie
by Trigs
Summary: The thoughts of my X5. Rated R cause I swear a few times and don't want to get in trouble


Trigs Life  
  
  
This is a Vignette about X5-631, Max's sister Trigs. Trigs is an X5, as is written in her story, alone (hint hint nudge nudge read/review). This actually takes place pre any dark Angel stuff, and before my story about her. I would include this in with my story, but it has a G rating and I like it like that. This takes place on top of the CN tower where Trigs lives. The CN tower is the big thing in Toronto for those of you Americans who sometimes forget about Canada ;-) (J/K)  
  
I don't own Dark Angel. I own Trigs, and Carn, and Renz.  
  
  
  
  
  
I wonder if I'm the only one whose likes to sit on top of buildings and just stare out over the city. If I'm the only one who found a high place to call my own. This is my spot. I come up here every few nights to sit and think. To wonder about life and love and everything that goes on in my life. Up here, I am me. I don't have to conform to any standards, and I can be myself. No one tells me I'm wrong. No one tells me I'm crazy, or out of line, or that I'm making bad choices...  
  
Zack always told me I was making bad choices. He said I was odd, or I was different, or even that I was a Nomolie. He was absolutely sure that I was going to end up dead even before Lyedecker sent us to war. There were days I wish I had died back then, but I'm stronger than that.  
  
Ben always said that the higher up you were, the better the blue lady could hear you. I remember shimmying up the drain pipe so she could hear my prayers as a child. Now all I have to do is scale the stairs of the abandoned CN towerm and I'm as high as I can go. I hope she can hear me. She needs to know how grateful to her I am. She needs to know I am so glad to have her. Its been nine years since I got out of Manticore. Nine years since I left that fucking hell hole in my past, and entered the real world. I've lived as I have seen fit. I've been myself, never being what anyone said I had to be. I spent my childhood doing that, and theres not a single day that goes by that I'm not so glad I'm out of there. For nine years, I have been free!  
  
And yet...  
  
And yet after nine years, I still miss her. She's still gone. I know that she had to die, but X5-631 is one memory I can't forget. She died on this day, nine years ago, and has been reduced to a story to some, and a memory etched into the minds of a class of X5's, and their handlers.  
  
X5-631, with her barcode number 270581092584, was dying for two years before she faded away. She had always been a bright child, always top of her class, and a favourite of many of the handlers and doctors. Especially one Doctor. Doctor Ellen Renfrew. Refrew took the child under her wing, and began to tamper with her mind. She saw in the child a potential. X5-631 did not respond as well to the conditioning as the other X5's. Refrew tried to make her better, but she only seemed to give up right away, and X5-631 was sent back to her unit.  
  
Two years before her death, X5-631 was last seen by her family as Lyedecker explained that lately she had not responded to any of the conditioning. Lyedecker had her dragged away by a few guards, and sent the children to bed. That night, twelve children escaped. X5-631 was thrown in a room and tortured until she nearly died to try and firgure out where the children went. After that, Lyedecker tried to fix her. He used every available method, until the Doctors declared her an Anomaly. X5-631 was screaming in fear as they took her down to the basement and locked her in a room with X2 045. The monster was chained in one cornor, and she in the other.  
  
For two years, X5 631 stayed in that cage. She felt closer to dying each day, and each day she woke up cursing herself for waking up at all. Her only true human contact was the Doctor Renfrew, who brought her medicine each day, and Lyedecker, who checked on her daily and brought her food. The rest of her day was spent praying to the blue lady, calling out for her siblings, and crying for the sake of making some sort of human noise. The large X2 snarled at her all day, waking her up when she tried to sleep, and making her life a fucking Hell. He wanted to kill her, and she wanted him to, and would have let him if Renfrew had not restrained her to one side of the wall.  
  
X5-631 never really understood WHY she was locked up there, in there with the Nomolie. She knew she was bright, because Lyedecker always told her when he brought her food. He always said "Why did it have to be you X5-631. Why did she have to pick you. Why did you have to be given the advanced Neural System." She didn't know it, nor could she understand it, but her mind was refusing to accept what was it was told. It wanted a chance to learn what it wanted, not that drivel that was poured into all the X5's. Everytime Lyedecker tried to teach X5-631 something, she unlearned it pretty quick. Her mind would not allow it. It would not let her be a drone.  
  
X5-631 tried to kill herself three times before the first year she was in there was over. She felt as though she was alone, and unworthy to live. She wanted out, even if it meant her death. She was certin that the Blue Lady would understand, and that she would be taken to the good place right away.  
  
The X2 became Sane just after X5-631's third suicide attempt. X5-631 had stopped taking the mind altering drugs for a few weeks, and had taken to throwing them at the X2 when he wouldn't shut up. The drugs, which had hurt X5-631, made the older X2 become a human again, and help X5 631 live through each day, even though he was bringing her closer to death.  
  
Half a year before the death of X5-631, one of the X4's was brought down. X4-237 was having the same problems as X5-631, and was locked in the room with her and X2 045. The three of them struck up a friendship, and soon it looked like X5-631 would live after all.  
  
Two years after X5-631 was thrown into the Hell hole with the X2, a huge fire started and killed the three X series soldier. The guards found only ashes after the blaze, and the three of them were declared dead, and their ashes were buried in the ground.  
  
The other X5's attened the funeral as a lesson. X5-631 was not normal, and she paid for it. The only thing left of X5 631, X2 045 and X4 237 were their twelve digit Barcode numbers, 270581092584, 78374095832, and 23429470347. The whole X5 series felt awful for the loss, and vowed to stay on the right path and to stay as good as they could so that they would not die with their Sister.  
  
X5-631 died that night, but I lived. I ran through the woods with Carn and Renz. We got out easily in the confusion of the fire, and managed to hitch a ride into the city and away from Manticore. We were three free people.  
  
As I look back now, I can see that X5-631 is almost gone. All that's left of her is a few stories, and the barcode etched across my neck. Her number, 270581092584, and the number on my barcode are the same. We were the same people, but now we're not. X5-631 was buried at Manticore, but me, Trigs, I made it out and made it on my own. I became a free soul, and I knew as long I keep a low profile, Manticore will never serch for me.  
  
I guess you could say that it was good X5 631 died. She let me live. I would like to say it too. I'm happy. Me, Carn, also known as X2 045, and Renz, X4 237, live in an apartment in downtown Toronto. We have a dog, not like the ones at Manticore, but a nice little dog named Molly. She plays nicely with other dogs, and doesn't bark much.  
  
I still have nightmares. I dream Renfrew finds me and keeps expirimenting on me. I didn't know it then, but Renfrew is the one who turned me into a Nomolie. She gave me the drugs that screwed with my mind. She gave an advance neural system, and then sentanced me to two years in that hell hole because I turned out better than expected. I'd like to find her someday, and snap every bone in her fucking body, one by one. I'd like to, but both Renz and Carn want a piece of her. She did the same thing to Renz as she did to me, and she was the one who screwed with the X2's.  
  
X5-631 was a good little soldier. She liked the high place, and talking with her brothers and sisters. I wish that she and I could exsist together, but we can't.  
  
In her memory, I need to find my family. The brothers and sisters that left me behind. They may need me, and I won't leave them. I'll go help them, and then take them here, to my high place, and we can talk about old times, and what is next.  
  
The city is beautiful at night. Too bad X5-631 had to die so I could see it.  



End file.
